How to raise a Catholic child

Keep in mind, anything you do is better than doing nothing.  If you cannot do all of these things, do the ones you can.  Just make sure your children know that you love God and His Church and you wish for them to do so also.

Set a good example by being a kind and good person, helping neighbors, friends and family, praying throughout the day, and attending Mass at least on Sunday (more often when you can)

Lead by example - by making the Church and your faith a central part of your family's daily life.  Set aside time for family prayer, volunteering for Church duties and at charities, going to Church events, and going to other charitable events.

Tell your children about your faith.  Be open and honest with them about your faith and what it means to you.  Start this at an early age, but no time is too late.  Do not just assume your kids will "get it" or that they will learn it from observing your actions, you really also need to discuss your faith with your children and what it means to your and why it is important to you.

Take an active role in your children's faith education.  Ask them questions about their faith and ask them what they gleaned from the homily at Mass or as CCD class, etc.  And ask them if they have any questions for you.  Most parents will ask their kids how their day went at school, what they did after school, or how was the movie they just saw, etc.  But Parents need to also ask about Church and Faith.  Make those two items just as important as the other parts of their lives.

Make family a priority.  Eat meals together, watch some TV together, play games together, go on vacations together, pray together, and go to Church together.  BE PRESENT and set an example.

Invite other Catholics into your social circle.  We all learn from our peers so make sure that some practicing Catholic families are part of their peer group.

Help your kids learn to “feel” God in their lives.  Teach them how to approach God, how to pray to God, and how to honor God.  This is difficult for many adults let alone for children because we cannot see God with our eyes, feel God with our hands, or hear God with our ears.  But we can KNOW that God is with us through the Spirit.  But this takes desire and an effort to develop and understand because the Spirit seems to prefer to whisper rather than shout.  Help your children to attune to God and find him in all things and especially in quiet times when they can listen for Him.  Perhaps start with just 5 minutes of quiet reflection time after the family prayer where you ask the kids to just be calm and quiet and listen in their hearts for God.

Teach your children to help others and to be kind.  Perhaps help them to mow the lawn for an elderly neighbor or bring a meal over to a sick neighbor or to someone who is grieving.  Help and show your children how to be kind and generous but make sure they also understand that by doing so, they are also serving the Lord and making God happy.  They do it for others but also for God.

Teach your children the power and necessity to pray for others.  Before the family prayer, ask them if there is anyone that they feel could use prayer and incorporate that person into the prayer.  Also, explain that it is a good thing to pray for some who is not faithful to come to find Faith in God.

Do not assume that the schools are teaching your children good Catholic principles.  You need to make sure your children understand Catholic principles especially when it comes to sex and kindness and love.  The school does not do a good job at teaching these things.  In fact, the schools will teach non-Catholic principles especially when it pertains to sex education.  Schools want the kids to understand and follow “safe sex” instead of abstinence.  So parents need to ask what the child is being taught and supplement that knowledge with Catholic teachings.

Pay attention to who your kid’s friends and influences are – BE PRESENT.  Get to know your kid’s friends, their parents, and learn their families’ values and faith.  Teach the kids that it is OK to have non-Catholic friends, but that their Catholic faith must remain strong and first and foremost in their lives even if it is not a value that their friends hold true.  Your kids may see things such as same sex parents or have friends that want to transition from a male to a female or friends that want to have premarital sex.  Explain to them that they need to be kind and considerate and respectful to the individuals who are doing these things, but that they must also understand that our Catholic values are not inclusive of such ideals because it goes against the Will of God.  Also, their friends may not be religious, they may not even believe in God, but that we, as a family, do believe in God and we pray that others may come to know God.  We do not disrespect others or act against them – instead we pray for them to find God and come to faith in God.

BE PRESENT and pay attention to what your kids are watching on TV, what music they listen to, what books they read, and who their friends and influences are.  Our kids have access to too much negative influences from all the media, from the internet, and from some bad people in the real world.  Make sure they understand what is and is not appropriate.  And try to steer them towards more wholesome elements.   You as parents, and the Church, need to be the foundation of your child’s conscience, not the sex, drugs, and rock and roll that they get from the media.  So you need to BE PRESENT and talk with your children and spend quality time with your children so that you will know what their influences are.

Remain a strong family.  Instill family values by showing your children what it means to be a family.  Make sure you kids know they can approach you about anything.  And do not be afraid to speak about your children about your faith and ask them about their faith.  And make the Church and God a strong part of your family.

Below are some reference materials that might be of help raising a Catholic family

St Joseph the Worker Parish / Fr. Mark Matthias / Deacon Peter Powell

https://stjosephtheworker.net/ and https://thejesuspeace.com/index.html

856-858-1313

Made This Way: How to Prepare Kids to Face Today’s Tough Moral Issues by Leila Miller + Trent Horn - gives parents crucial tools to form children with the understanding they need—appropriate to their age and maturity level—to meet the world’s challenges. Silence can no longer be an option. If we’re not teaching our children how to understand tough moral issues, then the world will. Learn how to give your kids a firm foundation on which to build a life of moral clarity and happiness.

BeDADitudes: 8 Ways to be an Awesome Dad by Gregory K Popcak - In BeDADitudes, you discover the profound love of God found in the Beatitudes and understand how that love can transform you into being an awesome dad. 

The Handbook for Catholic Moms by Lisa Hendey Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.  Helps new parents balance and integrate the deeply personal needs of their hearts, minds, bodies, and souls with the demands of family life and faith commitment.  Including:

• stress reduction and sleep

• nurturing your marriage

• engaging in Mass as a family

• modeling lifelong learning to your children

• balancing your career with your vocation as a mother

• Our Not-Quite-Holy Family:  A Practical Guide for Catholic Parents by Mark Hart and Melanie Hart

You’ll find thoughtful insights on a range of parenting topics, including:

·        becoming a proactive, emotionally-present parent,

·        healing personal wounds before they emerge in your parenting,

·        parenting with your spouse as a team while maintaining intimacy in marriage,

·        praying as a family without coercing your children,

·        managing screen time, social media, and demanding schedules

A book for Catholics at every stage of the parenting journey—the Harts have a child in college, high school, middle school, and elementary school - no matter what everyone else says “good Catholic parenting” should look like.

Healing Wounded Relationships by Father Martin Padovani (a local New Jersey priest)

https://frpadovani.com/books-english

How we communicate, listen, grow in intimacy, and forgive are crucial to a lasting, spiritual relationship. The author offers, wise, practical advice in all these areas. He also offers guidance for times of loss, healing, grief, and anxiety, especially as these affect our relationships. Dr. Padovani’s experience as a marriage counselor enables him to give profound insights into the relationships which make up marriage and family life.

Father Padovani also does family and individual counseling.  He brings faith and Catholic values into the counseling sessions.  You can find his contact information on his website https://frpadovani.com/ and you can email him at father.padovani@gmail.com